I Have Long Hair,

Down to the middle of my back. The last time it was this long was when I was a little girl. But I chopped it off around 10 years ago, a few inches past my shoulder. I'd kept it that way for a long time, with side bangs cut at the bottom of my eyes. Now my "bangs" are at my chin. I haven't gotten a hair cut since August 2009. I know, sad right? I have long hair, but it's probably not the healthiest. At least I'm not burning it every day under a hair straightener like I used to 2 years ago.
I have long, beautiful hair but I am most comfortable wearing it in a low ponytail, pulled up into a big hair clip and my bangs pinned back with bobby pins. I'm most comfortable with my hair completely off my face, and not touching my back. I never straighten my hair and if I'm going to wear my hair down, after my shower I leave it down to air dry and maybe pin the top half back with these cute little flower clips. It gets really wavy and that's the only time I feel romantic or pretty. Sad, isn't it?

It's October 1st!

I love Octobers.
Soon it'll be our 2 year anniversary!
Then after that, Halloween. I love Holidays!
It's just too bad, because I find a lot of awesome things I want to bake for the holidays... and my gut reaction is, "Oh, I can make that and bring it to Alex's family!"... uh.... No, I can't. :'(
It makes me sad because I've had things in mind for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas since last year.

I've Been in Portland, Oregon

For two and a half months now, and I love it.
My fiance and I are currently living with my grandparents,
looking for and applying for jobs like crazy ever since we got here.
I'm planning on going to the Art Institutes for my diploma in Baking & Pastry,
aiming to be a Pastry Chef someday.
I love the baskets of flowers on the streetlights.
I love how dog-friendly it is.
I love how I see a lot of people on bikes or walking.
I LOVE the climate.
It's so different from California, and to be honest, I don't want to go back.
I've been to Multonomah falls.
We've gone as close to Mt. Hood as we could.
We were planning on going to see Crater Lake.
I think I'll have a good life here, after we're settled in as adults, working and going to school.
I don't want to go back. I want to live here.
So I think I will. :)

This Really Resonates With Me...

To Love is Not to Possess
James Kavanaugh

To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one’s self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one’s self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one’s inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon’s own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child’s scars
Or an adult’s deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.

One of My Favorite Movies of All Time...

I'm Desperate to Be Twenty-Four...

I’ve got so many dreams, so many things I want to do.

I want to move to Portland, Oregon for about a year and a half while I go to college and get my diploma in Baking & Pastry. Of course my fiance is going with me, and we will both be trying to get into the Art Institutes College.

But at twenty-four, I’m absolutely sure I’ll be done with college. And hopefully I’ll be working at a bakery, building my career.

But the point is, I want to be married. There’s two dates I have very much in mind: June 28, 2014 (a Saturday), or June 28, 2015 (a Sunday). Hell, if I could, I’d be getting married June 28, 2010! I love him that much.

Sure, I love being 18. I’m fine with just dating. But dating, anyone can rip apart. But marriage? That’s a different story. Everything’s more serious. I feel like what Alex and I have together will be more set in stone if we’re married, instead of technically only “boyfriend and girlfriend.” Hmm, it seems so juvenile. I want something more. I’ve already got a ring on my finger, and there’s no doubt we are perfect for each other…

I know good things come to those who wait, but is it so wrong to want to just skip the waiting? I’m impatient.

Being 18 is fine, but he truth is, I just haven’t done anything with my life yet. If I died today, all they would be able to say about me was that I graduated from high school. But what else, really? Nothing.

I absolutely love how my life is right now. I wish I could say I wouldn’t change a thing, but maybe just one thing. Just one: taking our relationship to the next level. Where it matters. The world doesn’t care if you’re “just dating,” but if you’re married, you have a right to be together. Nothing can easily rip you apart.

At least, I know it’ll be that way for us.

I’m already waking up to his face every day, and loving every moment of it. I just want to grow up already, get out of this town. Be something, someone. And I want to do all of that with him by my side.

My New Engagement Ring!

My other engagement ring, depressingly, lost its finish. This is a gift from my fiancé as my 18th birthday/graduation gift. :) I’m so in love! (With him and the ring, hehe.)